When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

With Megan's post about identity, I think it is ironic how my personal identity is becoming more defined on this trip. I think I'm learning way more about myself than I am about Iceland.

Night before last, Gunnar, Paul, and I stayed up way too late. For that, I am thankful. Gunnar took time away from sleep to counsel me, though I doubt he had any inclination in the beginning that that was what he was doing...I  sure didn't.  I don't know if you, whoever is reading this, have ever been counseled by a pastor. I hadn't. And it was a gift. I don't want to talk about our conversation per say, but I do want to thank him.

Gunnar, not all of what you said to me was old information. Some of it was new. It was like you held up a mirror and forced me to look at myself fully, recognizing the cracks that I hadn't yet come to realize...choices that I wasn't aware I was making and the effects they could have on my marriage. I didn't fully realize what I was doing. You made it obvious, and told me what the consequences would be if I continued down the same path. I didnt like what I saw.

I have been set on a path, on a crossroads of sorts, but not where you would find the devil. No, the demon that meets me at this crossroad is myself, the horror behind what I could be doing to my loved ones. You're right. I knew you were right when you said it... though I am 23 years old, I'm still a child to some. I'm valuable to some as a child. I have not shown that I have value as a woman; I do not want this to be so. You forced me to see what each road would/could mean for me and my life in the future, and I really didn't like some of what I saw. For that, I am grateful.

I'm realizing that while I am someone's child, I need to be valued ad viewed as an adult, as a mature person capable of functioning fully and responsibly of their own accord, capable of making all of their own decisions, with the input of their spouse of course.

When I look in the mirror, I see a scared little girl, and I nth ink others do as well. Its time to grow up. It is time to be the woman I claim I am... The one I pray I will become.

This is the road I choose. Hopefully, I will be seen as such. Only time will tell.

Gracious and merciful God, Thank you for your good and faithful servant, Gunnar. Continue to let him shine your light into the lives of others. Grant him, oh God, your everlasting strength, so that he can continue to show your truth. Thank you, oh Lord, for the opportunity to meet this, and all of your servants in Iceland. Empower them, God, to continue to do your will on earth to your glory on earth and in heaven. In your holy name I pray, Amen.